bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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