Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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