smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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