Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
