Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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