Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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