i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
