If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
