Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
