The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
