You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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