it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
