He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
