Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
