he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She even gives head with a lisp.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
