Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
