She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
