I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
