youre lurking in front of me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
