help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
