Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
