u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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