Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
