the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
