Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
