Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
