i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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