Pants 0. Shit 1.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
