honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
