ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
