Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
