I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
