As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
