Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
