just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
