question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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