Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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