rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
