So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
