I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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