At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
