why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
one might say we're banned from that church
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
