I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
