Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
