i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
