We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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