I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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