idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
BRING THE BAGELS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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