My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
