it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
